Streetcar 5k

Last weekend was the weekend of the streetcar 5K. Which I attended with one of my best friends (and jogging buddy, Jana), her boyfriend (and also one of my most favorite guys in the world), her sister, and my mother. And Last weekend was the weekend I finally got to cross complete a 5K off my bucket list. Because I did it. I didn't run as much as I'd hoped. I finished dead last at an hour and two minutes. I was slower than my friend running the race. And these were all the things I was so afraid of happening. But it didn't take away from my accomplishment. Not one bit.

At first, when all the other runners, including my best friend, ran off to what seemed like leagues ahead of me. I was mortified. The police car that follows the runners till the end of the race was tailing me. It was almost like I was about to get busted or arrested. I almost felt like crying. My social anxiety started talking to me. It told me that the cops were probably talking about the poor little fat girl who was slowing down the entire race, and how annoyed they were with me for slowing everything down since they had to follow me. But then I thought to myself, how do I know what they're thinking? Maybe they were impressed that this girl, who is obviously not the fitness person of the bunch, is out there running the race at all. So I thought about my goal, and let that outweigh my anxiety.

I started to believe that people were cheering for me. And not just thinking I was pathetic for being so slow. And I finished it, I finished it and hour and two minutes. And to me that's pretty darn impressive.

I was that girl who could hardly walk a mile in PE class. I was the girl who five months ago couldn't walk 1.7 miles with her husband without taking three or four breaks. And now I'm a girl who can finish a 3.1 mile track without so much as one break. Things can only get better from here. I want to keep it up. I want to do more 5ks. I want to do the Columbus, Mississippi, streetcar 5K again next year and beat my time. I want to do a 10k. I want to do a Disney World half marathon eventually. It was seriously one of the proudest days of life. It is like for the first time I feel like I have some control over my body and my fitness. I may still struggle with food, and I may still struggle with my weight. But I can control my fitness. And that means the world.